The Stranger Diaries: Two Shy Girls and a Talent Show

Dear Diary,

In the third grade, my school organized an annual talent show. I had always been too scared to participate in talent shows in previous grades, but something changed that year. During my music class, our teacher informed us that the sign up sheet for the talent show would be posted on the wall near the door. If anyone wanted to sign up, they could do so at the end of class.

As the class went on, some of the kids whispered and discussed the talent show, speculating about who would sign up. I was usually quiet in this class because it was one of the few classes where I had to change classrooms. So, it came as a surprise when the girl who sat behind me tapped me on the shoulder and asked if I wanted to do the talent show together. I was taken aback by her invitation but thrilled to be asked. Without hesitation, I said yes.

Excitedly, I went home and told everyone that I would be singing in the talent show. No one, including myself, expected a shy child like me to do something like that. I vividly remember practicing in front of the mirror late at night and thinking to myself, " Wow, you actually sound really bad." However, the excitement overweighed the fear and I did not care at all. I was just so thrilled and determined to be apart of the show.

Weeks went by, and during music class, my talent show partner and I would talk about how excited we were. We talked about what we would do during recess, what was for lunch, and everything else except what we were going to sing. Perhaps it didn't occur to us because we were both shy kids who had found a new friend to talk to, or maybe it was because we were both doing something we had always wanted to do. It wasn't until the day of the talent show, when we meet up with each other, that we had realized we had never practiced and had no song picked out. We looked at each other, and I could tell that her thoughts mirrored mine.

Instead of offering help or suggestions, one of the teachers questioned us about why we hadn't come prepared and other things that seemed so unnecessary to me. My talent show partner said she would ask her mother for advice, but when she returned, she had a disappointed look on her face. I didn't ask anything; I just knew we had to figure it out ourselves. Then it hit me that we were in the same music class, so why not sing a song from there? We knew all the lyrics, and the music teacher, who was also working the show, should have the song to play for us. Luckily, she did, and we regained our excitement.

However, as our turn approached, the excitement slowly faded, and we both became nervous wrecks. I even contemplated dropping out. I didn't want to disappoint my partner, although it was clear that she was also contemplating the same.

Finally, it was our turn. We introduced ourselves as instructed, and the music started. We began singing, following our plan to sing the beginning chorus, the first verse, and then the chorus again before finishing. It was a short performance, but it felt like an eternity. I started tapping my hand on my leg to the beat, trying to hide my trembling from fear.

Before going on stage, we were instructed to thank the audience before leaving. However, as soon as we finished our last line, we rushed off stage without thanking the crowd. We hugged each other and said our farewells before returning to our seats with our families. After a few more performances, I noticed that my talent show partner and her family got up and left. She looked upset again. It was the same expression she had when she returned from asking her mother what we should do about not having a song picked out. I knew that look all too well. I stayed with my family until the end of the show, but throughout the weekend, I couldn't stop thinking about her and how I wanted to ask if she was okay.

The next school day came, and we exchanged greetings, but she didn't seem interested in talking, so I stayed quiet. We didn't talk about the performance, and I never asked about her sad face. Each time we saw each other, we would say hello when entering the class and goodbye when leaving, but we never had another conversation. After the school year ended, I never saw her again, not even in the hallways. She just disappeared, and so did I.

Sometimes, I randomly think about that experience and wonder where she is today. I wonder why she stopped talking to me. Was she upset with me for not picking a song, even though I eventually came up with the idea for the song we sang? Did I embarrass her my horrible singing? Were her parents upset she partnered with a black girl? Did she ever participate in another talent show? Although we never discussed our families or personal lives, I have a strange feeling that our lives were similar in some ways. I guess I will never know for sure, but what I do know is that because of her, I faced a fear that I would never have faced on my own. And now, I can confidently say that I hate talent shows.

Sincerely,

Aqua